Tuesday, April 9, 2013

20 Week Ultra Sound

Okay so we already knew what we were having and thought it would be another good time for the kids to come see their little sister moving. The ultra sound tech started measuring and looking at everything.  She was saying how active our little girl was and that things were measuring good.  By the end the kids were getting a bit restless so Jake stepped out to take them to the waiting area.  The tech finished and then stated I noticed that your baby has a cleft lip...(what?) so I kept it together and she asked when I would be seeing my doctor.  I let her know that we had the visit scheduled for the following day.  She said that he would talk us through it at that time but if I had any questions or concerns I could give him a call.  (my mind wasn't quite working but of course I was going to have questions and concerns).  I went out to get the kids and Jake, Jake asked how it finished and I just motioned for us to go (I was starting to get emotional and didn't want to lose it in the office and in front of my kids).  I started to tell him as we entered the elevator as tears were rolling down my face. The kids started asking what was wrong but then another person stepped on the elevator, so I just said nothing.  We left the office and of course had driven separately so Jake could head back to work. So we sat in the car and discussed what the tech said.  Jake was very calm and was more like is that it... is that it my beautiful little girl is going to have a cleft lip.  I was just thinking about what others might think or say when they saw it.  (I know that it is very shallow but the reality is that is our world).  I headed home and tried to just process everything.  As soon as I got home I started my search on the internet... not a good idea... I started reading more about them and started feeling like somehow I did something to cause this.  I ate the wrong thing or did something during the pregnancy that would cause this... now I knew deep down that I didn't do anything I don't take any medications and I take my prenatal and for the most part try to eat healthy. So I called Jake crying because I felt that this was my fault.  Jake said exactly what I knew he would that I didn't do anything.   My doctor ended up calling me and talked to me about that this is the most common birth defect (defect yes that is what it was and I didn't want my baby to have any defect).  He also stated that they did see a cyst on the brain.  He said that this was not a concern he saw these all the time and the 90% of the time meant nothing.  He continued to say that there was great surgeons and they had done these surgeries a ton.  After the phone call I felt a little better and decided to just not look on the internet for a little bit.

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