Follow up with Doctor from 20 Week Ultrasound

Jake and I headed into the Dr without the kids this time to talk to them about what they saw in more detail from the ultrasound.  The doctor was very nice and was reassuring that this was one on the more common birth defects although it is 1 in 600 who have a cleft lip. He talked about the cyst saying that it is just fluid filled and can be a marker and it alone does not cause any damage to the brain.  He stated that there was a slim possibility that our child could have down syndrome (what? again!)  he continued to say that he doubted that was the case because we were still young and we had two healthy children.  So he really downplayed the cyst and just stated that he would refer us to a specialist to have a more detailed ultrasound with a better machine then they had at the office.  We asked some questions about if he thought it was a cleft lip or cleft palate he said he could just see a cleft lip but he wasn't sure.  Jake of course asked if in any way I caused this (more so I could here that I didn't) and the doctor reassured us that this just happens and I did nothing wrong.  So we left the doctor office and I was feeling still completely overwhelmed but talking to him did help some but I was still trying to adjust to the fact that my daughter who I had visualized was going to have a tougher beginning that I had imagined.  In my work we use this poem from Emily Kingsley called "Welcome to Holland" this poem kept coming back to me and it is a great way to explain how I was feeling about the journey ahead.  (if you haven't read it look it up here) After the doctor Jake was headed out of town for work, I know perfect timing right!  So he left and I was left at home with all my running thoughts and not sure how to get them out.  I started writing them down because I couldn't talk to him and didn't really want to talk to anyone else about them at this time.  My other kids were asleep and so this is where the blog idea came from.